So there's this.
I'm trying to get my surgery set up. I was racking up six, seven thousand steps a day without even trying. You'd be amazed how many steps it takes to sweep and mop just one room.
The big news is.....I got on a bus. By myself.
There's a wonderful hardware store near here. The manager is a woman and they have a store dog. (ALWAYS patronize stores with store pets. ALWAYS.)
After some test runs with a VA staffer, I developed some panic attack mechanisms. The buses are new; they're fueled by a combination of eco-friendly fuels. They're built differently. They don't rattle. Plus I realized that one ride that I thought took at least twenty minutes.....took only two minutes. That's another coping trick.
With panic attacks, I sometimes can fake myself out by just doing something without planning or preliminary. Plus cold weather helps.
So.......it helps if there's a reward at the end, and that reward was this hardware stores. I LOVE hardware stores. Crack, man. Pure crack.
I looked at saws, tools, bird feeders.....all kinds of great things. But I had to take a cab home because I got wiped out. The cab driver tried to get me to reduce the tip, but I like to give big tips, because....just because. Also? He made me laugh when we got into a discussion about the differences between IUDs and IEDs.