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( 8 comments — Leave a comment )
Dec. 15th, 2013 12:08 am (UTC)
I don't even understand the kind of attitude he claims he used to have. It's like "hey I've stopped being an arsehole, give me a cookie".

My opinion? Look dude, what you are describing is not NORMAL, okay?

If I wasn't hearing this guy say otherwise, I'd have said it was a ridiculous cliche. The bloke who talks about all his "crazy exes".

Calling people "crazy" is sometimes useful. Some people do utterly horrible stuff and there's little we can really say that expresses our feelings better than "crazy". "Hitler was a bloody crazy bastard," for example. But to use it as a derogatory term for your ex? That doesn't even remotely sound like an appropriate context.

When I saw the title I was going to say that "crazy" is a term used about all sorts of people and so long as it isn't being used as a synonym for "hysterical" then I don't see it as linked to gender. But as a comment about your ex? *shrugs* I was not expecting that. Perhaps it was just such a bad breakup that the only way they could handle it was to de-humanise their ex perhaps? But there should be no doubt that de-humanising is what is being done when they talk like that. It's not really a way of talking that I feel terribly familiar with.

As upset and betrayed as I may feel when I go through a break-up, I never ever forget that I am referring to a human being for whom I held a great deal of affection. Heck, why would I even feel upset about the breakup otherwise. (Though perhaps this guy DIDN'T feel bad about the breakup? *shrugs*)

I, like most men, grew up in an world where certain attitudes toward women were just "the way things were" and we absorbed them without thinking about them.

One of them was the tendency to use labels like "crazy" or "irrational" without thinking. And once I noticed my tendency towards tossing "crazy" out as a verbal short cut, I couldn't not see it everywhere.

In that case most men are pricks. F**k 'em. The less I have in common with these 'most men' the better. They don't represent anything I would want in a friend. It's not even like I feel superior to them. I just feel sad that they exist and that anyone has the misfortune of having to regularly listen to them talk in this sickening way about their personal relationships.
Dec. 16th, 2013 08:55 pm (UTC)
I'd really like to see "crazy" stop being used as such a dismissive term, altogether.

My one night at County Behavioral Health was very educational..sometime--when I have some--I'll elaborate.
Dec. 17th, 2013 03:42 pm (UTC)
On Mark Reads, where they're discussing my books, the site monitors will ask you not to use it, or "nuts" or any word of that ilk, and Mark will flag any ableist words in each chapter and post warnings at the end of his written review. Of course, this if very uncomfortable for me, because I come from an older generation, but I'm finding I've started to halt when I find myself about to use any of those words in speech or prose and substituting something else. I'd rather fumble than hurt someone.
Dec. 17th, 2013 04:26 pm (UTC)
I had some asshole make a suicide joke about a month after my first attempt. That was not a variation in his standards.
Dec. 17th, 2013 04:39 pm (UTC)
I had some asshole make a suicide joke about a month after my first attempt. That was not a variation in his standards.
Dec. 17th, 2013 03:39 pm (UTC)
I want to post this on my lj where my fans can read it. They need to know this kind of gaslighting!
Dec. 17th, 2013 04:40 pm (UTC)
It's constant for women.
Dec. 22nd, 2013 08:54 pm (UTC)
And what qualifications do these men have for diagnosing "crazy"?

Aside from a Y chromosome, which doesn't sound like a prerequisite for medical school?
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