A View from A Broad

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You know...
You know, I have to say this about something that's brewing elsewhere on one of these feminist communities.

The situation is this: a community has been formed whose title consists of the verb 'unite' with the word for 'those who commit sexual assaults.' The first entry is a joke about rape victims.

I took a look at it.

It's a community formed by perhaps four little kids, watched by perhaps three more. They all appear to be in high school. They're obviously looking for attention, just like the trolls here.

Do not give what they want. It's that simple.

A major feminist reaction to these stupid little kids will only be used by anti-feminists as an example of feminist hysteria, what have you. Educating these kids would have far more of an effect than a huge response.

I'm sick, frankly, of people who think that sexual assault is no big deal, who spout sexist crap without even appearing to know that it's sexist. I am sick to death of anti-feminists. Trust me, over the past couple of days, I've heard from all of them and have you ever heard someone whine belligerantly? It's just bizarre. I'm amazed, sadly so, by all the work that still has to be done.

I've heard from people who think that men do have higher sex drives, who think that sneering that women should go to the cops---another 'Why doesn't she JUST DO THIS moment?' is okay and too damned many examples to count. All you can do in the face of sexism, sometimes, is to keep fighting. It's important not to give up the fight.

But it's also important to pick which battles, and where, and about what. I'm sick of anti-feminists, and I'm sick of the twisted way they look at reality. I read someone's comment yesterday that I must have a very dark view of gender relations to quote the quotes that I did in the prostitution essay. This is just another reframing of the cliche that you see all the time, "I've never experienced sexism." Well, then, obviously, it doesn't exist. I met a lot of Iraqis who'd never experienced snow. Why is their opinion not guiding the US Dept of Highways? Another favorite tactic has to be the 'culture of victimization.' You know, the people who create that are those who are actually going out and victimizing women, not those who report it. In that arrogant statement you can hear the echos of George Bush, getting upset not at the events depicted in the Abu Ghraib pictures, but in the pictures themselves. It's the quintessential BAFT moment. "But aside from the rape and the domestic violence and the glass celing and the lack of abortion and birth control, you guys are just so damned uppity. Why do you insist on talking about it?"

Napoleon once asked Madame Du Stael why she agitated so for womens' rights. One can imagine that impressive lady drawing herself to stare at him flintily before letting it fly. "Because, Sire, so long as you continue to hang us, we must ask the reason why."

Because, Sire, as long as you continue to punish us for violating laws we are prohibited from shaping, we must ask even our silence is not enough.

You want to accomplish something? Educate those kids. But if you want to accomplish something even more, ignore them. It's disgusting what they're doing for attention. Let them know that it does not work like that.

Helpful reminder
After looking over the past few posts, I've identified a whole bunch of trollish statements which help identify anti-feminist trolls, or twits of the first order. I'll be posting responses later.

1. But don't feminists think that----?

2. But according to standard feminst logic, isn't that---?

3. That's sexist against men!

4. Men get raped too, you know! By women!

5. The patriarchy hurts men, too, you know!

6. Feminists just create a culture of victimization.

7. Men are so horny they can't help it.

8. Women don't have sex drives.

9. Any variation of these stereotypes: Women lie, exaggerate, are overly emotional, prone to panic, fear, etc., etc., Included in here is any commentary about false rape accusations designed to show that women are, of course, prone to lie. Any explicit reference to women's emotions.

10. Any variation of these stereotypes about men, which justify coddling and deny responsibility: Men are just guys, just horny, mean no harm, just want to have sex and beer.

11. Any variation of this cry: Hey, not all men are bad! Not all men are rapists! Not all men are...this, that, the other.

12. Any variation of this statement: I've never experienced this. So what's the matter with you?

13. Any variation of the opposite statement: I've done this and it's wonderful and great and so none of those other people must be doing it right or they're just not as special as I am.

14. I'm not a feminist, I'm an equalist.

15. Any statement which begins like this: I'm not a feminist, but....

16. You stifle dissent!

17. No, it's not.

18. Any variation of these platitudes: Life is great, why don't you just get out more, cheer up, smell the roses, pat the baby duckies, and so forth and so on. Related to #25 and #13.

19. Violence against women isn't the problem; it's violence in general. Usually used with more general topics than rape.

20. Feminists do this, that and the other.

21. Andrea Dworkin said all sex is rape.

22. Feminists just want to take over, hate men, hate sex, think all sex is rape, are all fat lesbians, don't shave their legs, etc., etc.,

23. Women unfairly get custody too much of the time.

24. Men are getting screwed by: (multiple choice; supply your own but my favorite is the 'Men die sooner, you know! option. Like, do feminists cause this?)

25. (Nationality) women have it so good here. Look at Afghanistan. Why are you bitching?

26. Men have to work dangerous ~~high-paying jobs from which women have been excluded~~ jobs to support their families.

27. There's no such thing as male privelege because I do not feel priveleged. (Or some other story about themselves.)

28. Women have all the power. Women can get laid any time. Men suffer because they have to ask for dates and stuff. And then pay for it.

29. Men have to go to war, you know.

30. Men created all this stuff, and women sat on their asses and did nothing.

31. Women can have abortions but men have no say in the matter!

32. Feminists won't let battered men into battered womens' shelters.

33. Women secretly beat up men just as much as men beat up women.

34. I'm sorry if I somehow offended you by saying any of these things, but I thought you liked debate.

35. IS NOT!

36. IS TOO!

37. I just think you suck and all feminists suck and you're a bitch and a fascist for not letting me spout my drivel as long as I want about whatever subject I want and say whatever I think. Bitch.

38. The pretentious version of #37, except with those SAT vocab words.

Sigh. 39. Related to #12, 14, and 19: But I say this all the time, and I don't mean it like that, and I've never heard of anybody using it like that, so that's all that matters.

sigh again.40. I've never heard of feminism or sexism so I'm just trying to find stuff out about it. Often accompanied by #1 and #2, and every dodge in the book. Often accompanied by coy and leading questions, plus protestions of innocence and pleas of, "But I thought...!" that are in and of themselves insulting. "I thought feminists hated men and wanted to kill them and take over."

Sigh. 41. So I compared a woman to an inanimate object. What's your problem?

Sigh 42. You just hate me because I have a penis! I cannot believe I forgot that one.

43. Feminazi.

44. You're nuts.

You know, the most depressing thing about this list is that the trolls do seem to think that using these tactics is not trolling, and that you are the problem. They compare their trolling to your response to it---and it's equal to them.

45. Feminists are all alike and they demand that everybody think the same thing. Always said after some complicated critique.

Illustration
For those of you who think that the world is a peachy kean place, I offer you this. This is some stupid fuck calling feminists 'female Hitlers.' You guys think I'm exaggerating about trolls? This is what they dare say in public. What do they say in private?

My family has some Jewish blood. More immediately than that, however, is the demise of my father's grandmother. Sometimes he called her his great great grand mother. He wasn't entirely sure who she was. Whatever she was, she had long black hair. They used that to grab her. She was dragged out of her house by that hair and shot at the lip of a mass grave. There is some irony in the fact that it was less than thirty miles from the town in France where my mother's family was. So close. So close to safety. And here is some fuck using the word 'nazi' casually. How does one deal with this? Explain this to me. Seriously. I feel such rage I don't know what to do with it.

You know, people bitch at me all the time, and it's incredibly stupid. It's the quality of it, which basically boils down to, "YOU FUCKING BITCH!" I can argue my way out of it. Jesus fucking Christ,

yonmei,

harmonyfb,

klytemnestra,

mirandaflynn,

chastityswayy and I argue all the fucking time! I've had bitter disagreeements with all of them. Hell, I didn't speak to

pandorashoax for a year once. That this siege ended says better things about her than it does about her, because she is a better woman than I. Even so, a year is no small matter. None of them, however, sling the word nazi around. None of them use those polite synonyms that sexists use to disguise their sexism. I wonder if that matters. Yet here are people who think that being a feminist automatically earns one certain responses. They get profoundly offended to having this pointed out to them. They compare their disgust with the truth to feminists' disgust for the lies, and declare them equal. 'Nazi' they feel is perfectly accurate. How could a woman get offended at it? How is it that some people can use the word 'nazi' casually? How can this happen? Are there death camps in America that have been hidden somehow?

It hardly needs mentioning that my father fought in WWII. They sent him away from the areas where his family had been murdered. That was very intelligent of them.

Remind me again. Where are the death camps, set up by feminists? Where are the trains?

Jesus Christ, does it dawn now? Nazis? Does it dawn on you, with that word? What does it take?

The worst thing is that people like this think it's funny, and really don't give a shit that it's deeply revealing on so many levels. It's how they get attention, I suspect---this guy is evidenlty now responding with the classic---"You just hate me because I have a penis!"-----that they couldn't get with looks, words, money or what have you.

This is the classic anti-feminist response: fear. I think some of these guys really do believe that feminists hate men. Problem is, no man I know of would resort to this. It sort of reveals the guy's character, or what there is of it.

Problem is, too, that there's a pyramid of responses to any movement that resists bigotry. There's even more hostile responses to this one, they're just more polite. At least this type of thing is honest.