How to spot a nice guy
There's a mammoth thread over at Shakesville right now that features the lamest bunch of losers you could imagine----whiny white boys who took offense at a discussion of sexism on a feminist blog of al things! My God, the horror! Why, white guys suffer, too, you know! The thread is nine hundred comments long, and it's like a bingo palooze, featuring the guy I linked to last night and dozens of other dudes, calling women cunts, telling us to go get laid, and being twitchy and paranoid. They share a complete inability to actually listen to what women say, leaping to conclusions and filling in sentences with whatever they need to suit their purposes. This last is a classic trollism, because trolls and some men like to ignore what women say in favor of what they'd like women to say. (When you put words into a woman's mouth, what you're doing is the same tactic that 'no means yes' apologists are doing. Of course, clueless assholes like to say that being called on racist, sexist, homophobic dogwhistles amount to putting words in their mouths, but that's bullshit. "Welfare queen" is not a phrase that indicates a royalist revolution, asshole.)

Here, for your amusement, I bring you the classic Nice Guy.

Women- please read this short true story from my life.
1. "Now gather round and listen to the story of a man named Jed..." Oh, sorry. He only wants female attention, see that? Get lost, men.

I had a very good friend growing up. 2. I DO TOO have female friends! She used to call me the nicest guy she ever met. She was very quiet but friendly. I too was a quiet and friendly guy... not without my flaws but certainly not offensive in any way. 3. I was a NICE guy! Who better than to call them than myself?! Well as it so happened, we part ways after high school, seeing each other a lot less. She decided to major in women's studies and sociology. 4. DAH DAH DUM! As time went on, our occasional phone calls and hanging out turned into more and more of her political views. I listened as any friend would, the conversations initially were interesting and nothing seemed at all unusual. After some time she seemed to start treating me differently... no longer the close and personal friend, I felt more like an outsider.5. SHE WAS TURNING INTO A FEMINAZI! Also, she wouldn't fuck me or get me beer or listen to my rants about Playstation and how I got fired for hygiene problems. I found out why when one day it came out-she said I was sexist, ignorant and uneducated. Although you might think I'm omitting an important detail, I promise you I'm not. 6. All right, Mr. Nice Guy, that totally settles it. I'll take your word for it! This all was very unwarranted. Several of our mutual friends also had similar problems and I finally decided it was enough and simply stopped talking. 7. My imaginary friends, let me show you them. I tried reason. Nothing worked. 8. Hysterical bitch. Luckily, years later, she moved near me and I got the guts to call and try to make amends. She had since graduated and moved on to other things, even got married. 9. Even though she was a ball busting bitch. She regretted how she treated me those years earlier and apologized. It was a good feeling to have that friend back.. but I'll never forget what it's like having a best friend who I grew up with call me all these names and suddenly become very hostile. 10. And it's TOTALLY TRUE! An anonytroll said it, so it MUST be true!

I only tell this story because I wonder if some of you are reacting the same way my friend did?11. You overly emotional, stupid cunts. I won't defend every guy out there, but one fact does strike me as interesting... and that is the number of "democrats" who support Hillary but will vote McCain if Obama gets the nomination. 12. TOTALLY TRUE! It's a lot different than the number of Obama supporters who will abandon ship. 13. ALSO TOTALLY TRUE!11 So what does that say about these people? 14. Well, considering they're your imaginary friends, Sparky, why don't you give us the creator's eye view? What is this? Gary Stu and his playmates? I don't know, but my guess is that to them, sex is so important of an issue to them they would rather see Hillary's short term competitor (Obama) fail than see her, and the democratic party's opponent (McCain) fail... simply because they percieve Obama's success as being directly linked to percieved misogyny. 15. Of course! It's only perceived sexism, because Einstein here doesn't see it, had a female friend once who was mean to him---wouldn't you love to get her side of it, if she existed?----and those vicious cunts would rather let Darth McSame win than untwist their panties and get over their perceived sexism.

There you have it, 'women'. He has female friends, and one of them was mean to him, graduated from college---which makes him at least ten years older than I get from this tale of woe----and now he jsut wants to help us.

God, I need more bingo cards.