Snort
In any feminist discussion about boob jobs, the possibility that Renegade Evolution---self proclaimed not feminist---will show up and justify her professional choice to have a boob job approaches one. The central point---that we all do shit to appease the patriarchy--will be lost as people self-righteously bring up reconstruction or physical pain, all in a strenuous effort to ignore the central point that, once again, we all do shit to get along and we need to consider those choices when we make them. As if the exceptions about reconstruction aren't enough, then the sex poxes show up, whining about how the feminists are being big bad meanies for demanding that they own up to their patriarchy-pleasing ways. The point of the post is pretty clearly women who make the choice not for practical reasons, but because of a complicated interplay of patriarchy-induced reasons. Confronting those reasons is scary. It's much better to avoid the topic and bring on the self-serving justifications.

And it only took till comment 19, too! What, does she have a batphone, too? And she's not a feminist, so why does she spend so much time on feminist websites?

This is where the bullshit discussions about "I LIKE makeup! Really I do!" come up. I don't care. I don't care if you regard Spackle as an appearance improver or what. I don't care if you'd need a weed whacker to mow through the thatch on your legs, as long as you're happy with it.We all do what we have to do. Just own up to it. Examine it. Ignorance is not going to make you feel better: it's just going to make you feel more insecure. Of course, there seems to be a tendency on the part of women making the most retrograde decisions to want to preach to other women about how fucked up they are----I've lost track of the number of times I've had moms tell me I'd change my mind when I had my own-----but that could just be me. Tradition is easy to justify, and what's more traditional than selling sex and gratification on mens' terms to men? Do it with a marriage license or a gee string, it's just a matter of degree. Yes, I am cynical.

Of course, some women do things that are really difficult to justify---they actively sell out and do it not for survival but for cynical profit. My issue with the sex poz posse is really simple: they're not rebelling against anything. They're accepting the status quo, maybe glossing it up with some gesture of rebellion---grrrl power, rah rah rah!----and leaving unquestioned the rules that keep women down. Those rules, however, make it really easy to figure out what's profitable and what's not. It's easy to go along with what the culture wants. It's easy to sell the patriarchy what it wants. That you tend to find lots of sex pozes denying the horrid existance of ordinary prostitutes while touting how much they love their work doesn't do much to endear them to women who actually work to end prostitution. It puts me in mind of the guys who pop up in discussions about domestic violence to whine that "Men are the victims of DV, too! More than women!" It's that desire to dismiss the pain of many other women so they can keep their happy shiny world that puts them at odds with feminists, if only for the sheer bullshit factor. The fact that they're women, not men, is what makes it so disturbing. How many trafficked women and children does it take to shatter the self absorption of a dominatrix with a comfortable lifestyle? I haven't seen it happen yet.

One final act's missing from this little psychodrama. After RenEv's petty attack on Amanda, I expect to see a round of whining that ignores Ren Ev's little meltdown and makes Amanda the bad guy. I've had my differences with Amanda, but on this point she's right: part of fighting the patriarchy is examining our own decisions. If doing that makes it impossible to do things the way we used to, well, then, is that a bad thing? That's why they called it consciousness raising. Part of feminism is the desire to accept ourselves the way we are, without the enhancements that the patriarchy demands of us. Part of the reality of that is facing every day the resentment of people, especially men, who are used to women appeasing them with every facet of their being. I frankly think we should encourage exactly that, but I'm not going to gainsay any woman who doesn't want to, especially if she faces real consequences for it. Ideally, she should have other options---because she has feminists supporting her.

And can I just say I don't want to hear any stories about what feminine things you love doing? It always happens in discussions like this and I don't want to hear it. Why do women always seem to feel the need to prove how feminine they are whenever the topic of 'bad feminists' comes up? Whenever I see that, it seems to me that people have accepted the trope that being a feminist means hating everything feminine. Frankly, if I had my way I'd eliminate classifying any activity as inherently feminine or masculine, because it's not like men and women both can't wear makeup, cook dinner, raise kids, sew clothes, fight wars,dance, or write great books. Pregnancy, birth, and ejaculation are some of the few acts that can only be performed by one gender or the other.

My line for bitching about another woman's choices? Sure, let Michelle andJim Bob Duggar have as many kids as they want. I draw the line at refraining from pointing out how she's shortchanging her daughters, placing a strain on the ecosystem, and preaching that her choices are the only ones that ought to be allowed. While we're at it, how come Michelle's the target of jokes, while Jim Bob is utterly invisible? Such is the taboo against criticizing men in this culture: blinders automatically slap down. And when some well off dominatrix justifies her job because it works for her and tries to ignore all the trafficked women and children just because she wants to continue in her line of work, then that's a fit subject for criticism. To that I guess you could add a stripper who keeps justifying her tit job as a personal choice, when it makes her rates go up. In that respect, it's kind of like Ann Coulter, selling out other women so she can make a buck. Women who strip for survival in a crappy job market are entirely different from women who boast about how fulfilling it is, while they cater to mens' fantasies. Catering to mens' fantasies just makes those fantasies stronger and pacifies the men. I don't think that's an ethical choice, but then again, working in a dirty bookstore played a part in arousing the first stirrings of a feminist consciousness, as I began to wonder why exactly 'whore' and 'slut' were bad, why they were applied to only one half of a sexual pair, and why they were unshakeable labels. Myself, I'd rather fight those things that perpetuate them.